Saturday, November 29, 2008


I am in funky town...and have been for a while. Sometimes the grey is a respite from the technicolor of life outside. I saw my first glimpse of yellow today when I heard that Garth is adopted, and is much loved. Leaving him almost tore my heart in two.

Canoe and I have been putting miles under our feet, and his attitude is improving...and I might like him again...a little.

I am thankful for all my blessings...just under the blanket.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Bully Pig

In racing, they call it "swapping paint"...but that means both cars get injured in the crash. So, Lightning McQueen attacked Doc Hudson, but only got one tooth mark on his rear bumper. Doc Hudson was seriously injured, and had to go to the repair shop. It was over a BONE that wasn't picked up.
Not only does my foster have two drainage tubes and more stitches than I can count, HE IS CONVALESCING at my house. Yep. Sources say that dogs buddy back up, even after a fight. Not so much. At least in my experience. So, I'm practicing my surg tech skills and nursing skills as I get this ol' guy back to new for his new foster home on Wednesday. Lightning McQueen's, or the "bully pig"'s mouth has been incarcerated in a muzzle, and all bets are off as far as a reunion.
So, this has cooled my ardor for being that "hero" I talked about earlier. It has been a horrific experience...and I have some resentment about being made into a better dog owner by dealing with the aftermath of the attack.
Garth is doing remarkably well...Canoe has made it completely clear that NO males, young, old, gay or straight will be tolerated. After I get all the blood out of the carpet and off the walls, Canoe and I are going to do some training....and I have learned a lesson the hard way.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

What's in a name?

I've been thinking about renaming my blog...the black hearse part was appropriate, as I started this blog soon after my mother's death...but I am healing, and black hearses, while still poignant, are no longer a mainstay in my brain.

SO. I really liked "rants in my pants"...but so did someone else. Other names I'm throwing around are:

DiaMaria...a favorite childhood nickname...but I can't imagine saying out loud, oh yeah, check out my blog at diamaria. LOL.

Freudianslip...haven't checked this one...

Needle Knows...

Another Chants...

Pun and games...

This may take a while. As you can see, I do love double entendres.
It has been a virtual wild kingdom around here. I am fleeing the animal womb of my house to school today. Can't wait.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Lightning McQueen and Doc Hudson

In the wonderful movie "Cars" the struggle between youngsters and the older generation is highlighted in the relationship between the young and brash Lightning McQueen and the bit grumpy but wise Doc Hudson. If you haven't seen this movie, do yourself a favor and get it!

I am fostering a 10 1/2 year old boy, Garth, who was recently returned because his family was working long long hours. It is so funny to see the characters play out in my backyard.....

We have young Canoe starring as Lightning, and Garth as the older and wiser racer, Doc Hudson. Canoe is very self assured and sassy....Garth is older, but has a commendable race record under his belt, as well. I can see Canoe giving him a hard time, and Garth rolling his eyes.

I have wanted to adopt a senior lately, but a female, as Canoe gets along better with girls. Although Garth is a boy and perhaps not the best fit for my pack, he confirms that Seniors are absolutely wonderful dogs, and managing both of their jockeying for position is making me a better pack leader. With all the marking going on outside...there have been no accidents inside! Ka-chow!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Canoe K'notes--op-ed

Dear Readers,

I must concur with one astute commentor in regards to my sister's practice, "Plastics for Plastics". The commentor wondered if "she stayed at the Holiday Inn Express"...let me be blunt. I think she should change her name to Dr. Mengele.

Now, it's true that I have been known to be a cobbler in my spare time. However, I have channeled this urge into healthy choices, as my picture shows. While I mind my manners and curb my basic desires to eat off the table and lick dirty plates in the dishwasher, Dr. June runs around this house, nabbing whatever she can find. Did you know after Barbie made her statement, she got trashed??????

Needless to say, I believe that the ONLY true doctor in Dr. June's practice is the one that spins.

Now you know the rest of the story.

Monday, November 3, 2008

"Plastics for Plastics" Surgeon Makes Headlines

World renowned plastic surgeon, Dr. June Peters has made medical history once again. Known for her bold approach and pioneering spirit, Dr. Peters is notorious for her frontal lobotomies and head-ectomies of such celebrities as Polly Pocket and My Little Pony.

"My latest case involved a young lady who presented with abnormal leg anatomy. This patient came to me complaining of toppling over and not feeling "grounded" due to the absurd length of her legs. My team and I decided on an aggressive approach, and the patient was thrilled with the results."

In addition, "Barbie" also requested an amputation of her left hand, stating that she would never, ever marry Ken, or anyone else for that matter.
"I would recommend Dr. June and her practice, Plastics for Plastics, to all my friends. Whether they are experiencing too much play stress, and need a frontal lobotomy, or like me, are tired of being a terrible role model for young girls, Dr. June comes through time and time again."