Alternate Uses for Icepicks.

Lobotomies. Yes. My lovely education includes learning about Dr. Freeman and his frontal lobotomies using an icepick. First he would shock his patient into unconsciousness, then a little tap tap on the icepick with a hammer through the orbital socket, wiggle around and voila...that combative patient was nice and docile. Ahh. Ice pick lobotomies were recommended for house wives that were bored with housework. It was said to make their housework responsibilities more tolerable. I guess so.

Fortunately, with the introduction of thorazine, "the chemical lobotomy", ice picks fell out of favor. So I had to pass this along. AND, if you're still curious, you can look on YouTube and watch Dr. Freeman and this procedure. Oh, you're welcome. LOL.

The Dog with a Big Heart

My bete noir (black beast) has been diagnosed with an enlarged heart. I always knew she was sweet....
Almost unheard of in the greyhound species, an ultrasound confirmed a heart murmur with enlargement of the left ventricle. As a breed, greyhounds tend to have larger hearts, as the heart is a muscle and greys are tres athletic. However, this goes a bit beyond. The Vet says her life expectancy is considerably shortened, and June has started blood pressure meds. Oh my girl. We are going to have a good time.

Wheeeeeeee!!!!!!

As a child, I LOVED rollercoasters! Riding the Comet at Hershey Park was certainly the highlight of many summers. Now, in an adult body, my stomach rebels...but the light in my children's eyes inspires.

So I've been on a personal rollercoaster....I decided to work on my Bachelor's in Psychology while simultaneously throwing down pre-reqs for a nursing program....and lo and behold...the advisor called and said that there WAS a place for me in Surg Tech. Incredulous. I had already dried my tears over that one and set off with new co-ordinates. There was a new game in town. I had a decision to make....and I hope I have no regrets. Sucking in air, I told the advisor that I was going for a RN. Case closed. It's that scream on the way down....the one where you're scared silly and laughing hysterically at the same time.

Bitten by the past.....

Well, this is a hard one....

After all my A's this past year, I was not accepted into the Surg Tech program after all. Because of two grades I got back in my 20's...a C in English....a C in Statistics, which decimated my GPA to a 3.2, which was not good enough.

I am #5 on the "waiting list", and will still go to the mandatory orientation. Not easy....failure is not easy.

However, when the advisor called and told me, I heard, in my heart, plans await for me. I hate it when I think I know best.

I loved my daughter's comment when she heard. (hand on hip) "AWWW. NOW I HAVE TO TELL MY CLASS THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE A COMMUNITY HELPER!" Lol.

Thanks for all your encouragement along the way. Stay tuned...it ain't over yet.

Rescusi-WHO?

You can be relieved to know that I won't be talking about privates in this post. WHEW! These, um, dummies, um, end at the waist, really.
The plastic you see hanging out of their mouths is part of their inflatable lungs...they are the new practice equipment for CPR.

Funny, I just don't feel as compelled to help this droid as I did Annie. Remember resusci-Annie????? I mean for Pete's sake....Android, Android, are you ok? Just doesn't have the same ring...or elicit any concern on my part for this plastic ghoul. I did pass the first aid and CPR for Health Care providers course, with flying colors...but it would have been more poignant with.....

You just can't pick your patients these days.

My friend, Shim.

By all accounts, this dummy looks like a man. A mouth breather, but nice teeth. He hangs out in a hospital bed in the back of our classroom.
So one day, my classmate Jessica and I were practicing vital signs...and of course, we giggle about the pH of pee pee and rectal temperature parameters and other potty medical stuff. So, our curiousity got the best of us...sure, we do NOT practice rectals...but what if we had to do that on the dummy? Does he have....well...ok, a butt hole?
We had to find out.

Quietly we lifted his hospital sheet and then his gown. EEEEEEEEEKKKKK! OMG. He has a VAGINA. Holy toledo. We quickly inform our teacher about our horrifying discovery, and she calmly tells us that yes....he's a SHIM...a she and a him...removable parts. He's just, um, she's just sporting the female thing today.
My friend Jessica has the biggest, bluest eyes and they almost popped out of her head. Well, we both had the best laugh of the week. I mean, WHO KNEW?

Now, poor Shim has his legs removed and his man parts on and is thrown on top of a cupboard, thankfully still in the back of the room. And I continue on, finishing my pre-reqs and waiting for my acceptance letter. What a trip.

Cheating?

Things have changed since going to college in my 20's. Now "gym class" involves measures of your current physical prowess, lectures on nutrition, oxygen intake and output, and being tethered to a pedometer. In other words, it is very comprehensive...and I like it...it's a GUR. But this pedometer bothers me...it has a velcro component that itches my stomach...it taunts me all day long..."how many steps, how many steps"...so hey, you would think this is a GREYT solution.
But not so fast....(heh heh). Before I scheduled an appt. in the confessional box, we discovered that this placement does not work...it doesn't register anything. So, no cheating...silly rabbit!